The New Values of a New Order

I am a victim of an out-dated education and up-bringing.

I was taught that America is the land of the free and that we are fortunate to live here. I was taught that our system of government is superior to any on earth. I was taught that I am a human being, and that as such I am endowed by my Creator with certain inalienable rights, rights the government can’t take from me. I was taught that our government is a government of the people, by the people and for the people, that its just and lawful powers are on loan from us and that we are still the title holders. I was taught that our Constitution is the supreme law of the land and worthy of our continuing respect and devotion. I was taught that the President and all elected and appointed officers of government are but public servants, bound by the Constitution and answerable to the people. I was taught that our Founding Fathers were brave, wise and honorable men, men who wanted to secure and pass on to their posterity the priceless blessings of liberty.

Now, however, I am being advised that these principles and ideals I was taught in my youth are both wrong and dangerous, that we are entering into a new era of enlightenment in which my stubborn adherence to them will only hinder our advancement as a people.

You see, for the first time in human history, or so the story goes, a choice group of politicians and media luminaries have evolved into a master race, wholly and unquestionably superior to all the rest of us. These great men and women, acting in their official capacities as supreme beings, now are able to discern from heretofore unreachable heights what man never before has clearly seen nor fully understood; namely, that it is order, not liberty as was once believed, that mankind is sorely in need of. So that is what these high-minded and noble personages mean to secure for us and our posterity--the blessings of order.

The question now is, where do these astonishing revelations leave those of us who were born prior to the dawn of this bright new age, those of us who were grievously misled by our parents and school teachers, those of us who didn’t have access to the unimaginable advantages of today’s children?

Well, this is how I look at our dilemma. We can only hope that our new, all-wise and beneficent president will see our plight and take pity on us, that he will kindly send us to government administered reeducation centers where our obsolete beliefs and values can be washed thoroughly from our brains, and where we can be instructed in the new values of a new order, and be molded into the obedient and unquestioning world citizens he wants us to be.

I don’t know how the rest of you are coping with these new political and economic discoveries, but I don’t mind telling you that I could use some serious help making the necessary adjustments. My problem is that no matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to shake this crazy, recurring thought from my head that President Obama’s new vision for America and the world is nothing more than socialism and tyranny concealed under a fresh coat of paint.

Every day I fight these delusions. Believe me, I really do. But until I can receive some government approved and regulated counseling, all I can do is keep reminding myself over and over again that these hallucinations are merely the result of my substandard mid-20th century upbringing.